What's so tragic about being hip?

Shhhh... don't tell anyone that I'm doing an update. I'm trying to cultivate a reputation here. Do I look like a slacker?

I'm awfully sorry about the lack of updates on this site. I've been dreadfully busy lately... which I know is no excuse for ignoring my public. However, I've been busy with things that nobody really cares about and that would make for boring blogging. And it is my experience that boring blogging is far worse than no blogging at all.

So the outdoor soccer season is now officially over for me. Both of our teams crashed out of the playoffs early after a fairly good league showing. Ragnarok had a few problems at the end of the year with attendance that resulted in more losses than we deserved, but all in all we had a productive year. Yo' Mama surprised everyone, nabbing an unexpected second place in the table before turning in a dismal playoff showing. I now have nearly a month to lick my wounds and recover from the past two weeks of cold, rain-soaked soccer.

Someone once told me that membership has its privileges. Well let me tell you, they were so right! As a member of The Hip Club since In Violet Light was released I had first crack at tickets to The Hip's upcoming show in Winnipeg on November 23rd. I spent Tuesday morning sitting at my desk, trying to turn up every detail before the presale time of 11:00 AM hit that morning. Soon after the tickets had gone on sale for a limited audience, I received my cherished letter from the fan club that instructed me as to how I could go about getting in on the advance sale. Thirty seconds and several dollars letter I was printing an early birthday present from Lina - the confirmation for fourth row seats on the floor. I still haven't come down from the emotional high I experienced when actually occurred to me that I was going to be sitting close enough to Canada's Band to get drenched by showers of Gord Downie's sweat. Sweet Christmas, am I excited!

Simply put, this concert is going to rock my socks off. In fact, I'll be surprised if we don't all leave the MTS Centre barefoot from all the sock blowage that's going to happen. That's right, I did say the MTS Centre. I neglected to mention that the concert takes place mere days after the opening of our biggest downtown project since the TD Tower was erected. What could be better than a night with The Tragically Hip in a shiny new arena that's a mere 20-minute bus ride from my house? Well I suppose it could be better if they play my top five... So in the spirit of High Fidelity...

Top 5 Hip songs that I want to hear performed live:

1. Nautical Disaster. This song is so moody and full of vibrant images that it begs to be played live. Also, it's probably my favorite Hip song of all time. I get goosebumps just thinking about it.

2. Three Pistols. I always think of the cabin when I hear Three Pistols. It's got that classic sound that I love so much. This is vintage stuff, and the lyrics are fantastic. Besides, counting down pistols is fun and educational!

3. New Orleans is Sinking. If you had to name a signature Hip song, it would probably be New Orleans is Sinking. It's always served us well at parties and I'm sure it would hold up gloriously at a rock concert. The live version of this song is famous for Gord's long-winded story about how Shamu bit his arm off. Maybe he'll re-tell that story or maybe he'll tell something completely different... oh the excitement!

4. Locked in the Trunk of a Car. I once heard a live version of this song that was simply amazing. Downie went on and on in between verses and explained more and more of the story behind the song. As the title states, it's kind of a creepy song about locking someone in the trunk of a car and dumping the body. No wussy love song here... this is what rock 'n roll is all about!

5. Grace, Too. Another great live song, Grace, Too simply sounds really big. It's really well suited to concert play and is the kind of song that just entrances the audience. This is usually a staple song and appears on almost every setlist that I've looked into. There's a very good chance that I'll get to hear it.

There you have it. The skeleton of a perfect Hip show. At any rate it doesn't really matter what they play. I'll just be happy to be there, taking in a perfect little slice of pure Canadiana.

qotp: "We live to survive our paradoxes"
- The Tragically Hip, from Springtime in Vienna

- Colin (invincibleironman@hotmail.com)

It's a nice day to start again

There has been so precious little to talk about or update the lot of you on that it really hasn't warranted a post. My apologies for my lack of moving and shaking - I've just been so damn busy settling and staying.

I seem to be fitting really well in my new position, sucking up new data like an information sponge. I was feeling semi-nervous about filling the shoes of the employee before me, but I've resolved to do things my way and put my own personal touch on my position. After all, I have a kind of "flaunt it if you've got it" approach to business and I'm determined to leave the most positive impact that I can in the shortest amount of time. The main benefit of the lengthy job hunt/interview period that I went through after university was that I got to know myself professionally. Being in tune with my own strengths and weaknesses has helped me to focus my sights on what I want to achieve and how I can go about reaching those goals.

Finally, I've decided to start putting some funds away for the future and getting some investments going. It feels really damn good to have a sort of long-term plan other than to someday be really freaking awesome. Yep, I now have a means to reach that lofty goal.

On top of all that I'm looking into supplemental income options. Freedom 35, baby.

My sister has completely ruined White Wedding for me. She's a very twisted individual who clearly likes twisting my wonderful, empowering conceptions of Billy Idol. Well played, sister.

In conclusion, Future 1 - Billy Idol 0.

qotp: "This plastic little place is just step amongst the stairs"
- Live, from Overcome

- Colin (invincibleironman@hotmail.com)

Why even bother?

I was going to come on here tonight and just start talking, spouting off ideas and insight until the letters blended together in an intricate symphony of brilliance. I was going to solve world problems and make our country an even better place to live. I was going to do so much.

So here I sit, having just played soccer, downed an Arctic Orange milkshake, and chased it with a bottle of Moosehead. It's safe to say that you're not getting brilliance at all tonight. Frankly, I don't even know why I'm not in bed. What you are getting though is a series of fairly random thoughts.

1) The Bourne Supremacy is a-freakin-mazing. Go see it. If you have any movie-loving bone in your body you'll take the time to watch it and love it. I did, and I'm a better person for it. If you didn't like the first one then damn you and such. This is definitely one of the best two movies I've seen this summer.

2) The Anchorman is easily as funny as TBS (see #1) is amazing. Again, you need to see it. If you don't I'm going to punch you in the ovary. Relax, that's just a line from the movie. I wouldn't actually punch you in the ovary. Well, that is unless you're a guy with ovaries. I can't really be responsible for my actions should that particular situation arise, can I? When in Rome...

3) I'm really looking forward to Trailer Park Boys season five on DVD. I don't know when it's coming, but it is. Also, season five should be on Showcase this fall and promises to be as great as the last four. Just remember, a shit-leopard never changes his spots.

4) I scored five (5!) goals today in soccer. Sometimes when I look at myself I can't believe how awesome I am.

That's all I can muster tonight. Tune in some other time for something with a little more direction. Hopefully I'll have consumed a much more sensible before-bed meal.

qotp: "Holy f*ck that's good pepperoni!"
- Ricky, from Trailer Park Boys

- Colin (invincibleironman@hotmail.com)

Camping and Teppanyaki: Together at Last!

Today is an occasion that generally happens once in a son's lifetime - my parent's 25th wedding anniversary. We celebrated in style as my mother, father, Kayla, Lina, my Oma, and my Opa paid a visit to Ichiban, Winnipeg's finest teppanyaki-style restaurant. The food was absolutely top-notch, with my dinner combination of filet mignon, baby lobster, and terriyaki chicken being close to perfect. The atmosphere at Ichiban is fantastic and you'd be hard-pressed to find a more entertaining dining experience. Our excellent chef decided to pick on Kayla in particular, making her flinch a number of times as he threatened to hurl sharp objects in her direction and actually hurling some dull ones. A word to the wise though: laughing uncontrollably at your sister while trying to eat dinner with chopsticks is a challenge unlike any other. A great night it was, full of great food, great laughs, great sake, and holy awesome (!) ginger ice-cream.
 
Weekends allow you to do all sorts of fun things, so I've been enjoying them immensely since I started the new job. There's this little change in you that happens when you take up a 9-5er. Though the evenings are nice, the weekend just screams with possibilities. It's hard to decide what to do and what to leave for the next opportunity, but that just helps you to value your spare time that much more. Those in the same boat as me right now will attest that there is varying degrees of acceptance with this kind of situation and the sooner you embrace this system, the sooner you start getting the most out of life. 
  
This past weekend was a weekend of camping fun in the Whiteshell, some of the most gorgeous country until you hit the Rockies and the West and Europe in the East.



See what I mean? This is one of the highest points in the park, directly overlooking our campsite at the foot of the hill and offering a wonderful view of the expansive forest that is the Whiteshell. Of course, you can't see much because of the tree cover, but you'll have to take my word that it is down there somewhere.
 
Lina, Burtonium and I left on Friday night after work and had a little trouble coming up with a decent and available site that would be suitable for two tents. We finished pitching the tents just before sunset and settled in for the weekend. We spent most of Saturday morning hiking around and visiting various waterfalls in the park, returning sometime in the mid-afternoon. Burtonium had decided not to spend the second night in the park (having remembered to bring his guitar along, but neglecting to enhance his stay with luxuries like a sleeping bag and clean clothes), so he departed shortly thereafter. Cooked to a crisp, Lina and I took a dip in the uber-frigid lake Nutimik and pretty much spent the evening lazing around and drinking coolers before turning in early. Sunday was pretty much reserved for cleaning up the site and saskatoon picking and we arrived back in the city around 3:00ish.
 
Of course, there were two factors that I could have done without. 1) I have never seen so many horseflies in my life. They swarm around vehicles like sharks around a bleeding swimmer, waiting for you to step out so they can take a chunk out of your skin. The persistent buggers really made the afternoon uncomfortable, but disappeared in the early evening. 2) Crows. Dozens of crows. There was obviously no West Nile out there, because they were there each morning making racket at 6:00 am right outside our tent. Good Lord, that was irritating!
 
I also noticed a weird little phenomenon this weekend while camping. There seems to be an unwritten rule that firmly states that you must greet each person you pass them when on a camping excursion. It's friendly and all, but I just find it rather strange. Having grown up entirely in the city, I have a hard time grasping such behaviour. Courtesy? Unheard of!
 
All in all I had a great weekend and I'm looking forward to at least one more trip to the Whiteshell this summer and a return to my storied cabin. Oh, the grandeur!
 
qotp: "Living's impossible; a full-time job trying to change
ourselves into something we love before we're gone.
We can't catch our breath. No wonder we stare."
- David O'Meara, from the poem The War Against Television
 
- Colin (invincibleironman@hotmail.com)

Fog off, motherfogger!

You know, I can accept that humans need a purpose. They need a movement to identify with, a cause to support. Some people seem to need it more than others and some people just can't live without having some greater purpose to serve. They move from one cause to another, with the prerogatve to stir pointless shit up being their pathetic chosen role in society. Tonight I realized that people like that piss me off. I can understand that people were born as the only species able to change their surrounding environment, but protesters and activists really just take that freedom a little too far in my eyes.
 
Yeah, some things are worth protesting for. I mean there's actually good causes to stand up against like strip mining, deforestation, human rights, dumping oil into the oceans... the list goes on. But seriously, mosquito fogging?
 
That's right. Last night, the intense malathion debate reached a glorious crescendo of mediocrity when a Winnipeg woman was actually arrested for disturbing the peace during an anti-malathion protest. Seriously, she spent the night in jail after being charged with mischief, causing a disturbance, resisting arrest, and being a giant ass-head.
 
Malathion, for those not in the know, is the chemical that the City of Winnipeg uses to spray for mosquitoes in order to keep the blood-sucking population to a minimum. Now, malathion is certainly a form of nerve gas and this seems to be the sticking point with lunatics like Mrs. Head. I've heard all sorts of talk about how malathion is what police and armies use to "fog out" their targets, but that just isn't true. Malathion is very, very safe unless you take in a crazy huge amount of the stuff. Health Canada deems it safe for a child to play in a playground next to a Winnipeg fogging truck, so I imagine that we can handle a little bit drifting through the air and taking out our provincial bird. The lady last night was just audacious, wearing a gas mask and screaming "[malathion's] ancestors were tested in Auschwitz!" Did I miss something? Are we fogging for Jews now? The nerve!
 
So I deem the stuff safe. OK, so maybe if you hooked yourself up to the fogger and pumped your lungs full of it, you'd have problems. Lots of gases that way though. Look at chocolate - if you breathed excess amount of chocolate vapour, you'd be pretty damn sick. I think we should all go stand outside Willy Wonka's and protest the production of chocolate mist, don't you?
 
On a completely unrelated note, did anyone notice that there aren't any mosquitoes around? Also, I don't have West Nile. Like I said, this has nothing to do with anything. I'm just saying, you know.
 
qotp: "Dost thou not suspect my place? Dost thou not suspect my years? O that he were here to write me down an ass! But masters, remember that I am an ass. Though it be not written down, yet forget not that I am an ass. No, thou villain, thou art full of piety, as shall be proved upon thee by good witness. I am a wise fellow, and which is more, an officer, and which is more, a householder, and which is more, as pretty a piece of flesh as any is in Messina, and one that knows the law, go to; and a rich fellow enough, go to; and a fellow that hath had losses, and one that hath two gowns and every thing handsome about him. Bring him away. O that I had been writ down an ass!"
- William Shakespeare, from Much Ado About Nothing
 
- Colin (invincibleironman@hotmail.com)

Independence, eh?

Coming off the most relaxing week in the history of relaxing weeks, I'm getting ready for my first day at the new job. I'm fully rejuvenate and ready to rock. But before I head off to bed, I wanted to stop in and make Canada look really good by comparing it to something much worse.

What better way to celebrate the Fourth of July than with a viewing of Fahrenheit 9/11? Actually, I didn't even notice the inherent irony of the situation until Lina pointed out that it was indeed Independence Day just as the movie was beginning. I've seen Michael Moore films in the past and I'm fully aware that everything he says should be taken with a grain of salt. However, makes some good points over the course of this one, despite certain pieces of information coming across as semi-fabricated or at least embellished.

I could have done without the lengthy, awkward scenes of people crying on camera and the gratuitous and often graphic Iraqi Freedom footage. Even though Moore tends to overdramatize issues with these devices, he still drives a point home - though the point kind of changes over the course of the movie.

I did take a few things away from this film though. I always knew that W was an idiot, but this film really showcases his stupidity. Actually it showcases his ignorance more than anything, but ignorance is just a byproduct of stupidity anyway. If he had any chance of winning the next election at all, this film just obliterated that chance.

I also never felt really badly for the American people when that muppet became the most powerful man on the planet but I kind of do now. Obviously they were tricked into believing in a president that they didn't elect and supporting a war that didn't really exist in the first place. Nevermind the fact that the war was basically a way to cover up the skeletons in his own closet, but he sent hundreds to die for a fake cause and sent thousands of innocent Iraqis to their graves for something they were never involved in. Millions of people were royally duped and paying for it in blood - that's just not right.

The one thing that stood out the most for me came rather late in the movie. Moore does a large segment on US Military recruiting campaigns and shows just the kind of crop the military looks for in times like these. They look for the down and out, the unemployed, the trouble cases. I find it both amazing and disgusting how the people who live in the worst accommodations, make the least money, and have been left behind by their government are the first to stand up and "protect" the system that has forsaken them. And in the end, their sacrifice doesn't serve any purpose other than to increase the profits of the corporations who play puppet master on Capitol Hill.

I myself am proud to be Canadian, where we don't do stupid crap like that. I know our Prime Minister might be a crook but at least he's not killing people to make money. Plus, I'm reasonably sure that we elected our leader and in this day and age that's got to count for something.

So the next time you think we've got it bad just take a look South. I mean, at least we still have choice.

qotp: "This Texas fuhrer, for sure a
compassionless con who serve a
lethal needle to the poor, the cure for crime is murder?"
- Zack De La Rocha, from March of Death

- Colin (invincibleironman@hotmail.com)

The end of an era

To my great relief, I put in my final eight hours with that game store earlier today. My key is returned, and I've removed my comics and Santa hat from the back room. It's now official - this chapter is closed and no more shall be written. I felt a hint of sadness as I distributed handshakes and stepped outside the store for the first time as a non-employee. However, for something to begin certain things must be brought to an end. Of course, I'll still be shopping at the store regularly and keeping in touch with past and present crew, for they be a great bunch of folks.

So that leaves an entire week open for me to do whatever I please. I plan to fill up these next few days playing some classic Megaman, Spider-Man 2, and Ratchet & Clank with a little Disgaea mixed in. Wednesday is the big game between Holland and Portugal, so I'll be glued to the tele for a few hours there. Thursday is Canada Day, so I expect to be celebrating in typical fashion at the Forks, then maybe watching the Czech vs. Greece match. Friday may or may not bring camping depending on the circumstances, and Sunday is the Euro 2004 final. One evening I'm going to have to spend shopping for new work clothes, and I also have to take in Dodgeball and Spider-Man 2 (again) at some point. All in all, I've got stuff to do up to and beyond when I start on Monday!

That's what's going on. Now that all these life updates are out of the way, I should get back to ranting and social commentary pretty soon. Of course, I won't have stupid customers to make fun of now so I'll have to hunt for idiocy in different, unexplored places. Sounds like an adventure!

In other news, The Streets have released a new album that I hadn't found out about until last week. I picked it up and it's very nearly as good as Original Pirate Material. It's entitled A Grand Don't Come for Free if you feel so inclined to check it out. It's unique and quirky, something that will truly expand your musical tastes after a few listens. A refreshing change from the North American music norm!

qotp: "Know the difference between the faith in your heart and the politics of looking dumb."
- Matthew Good, from Empty Road

- Colin (invincibleironman@hotmail.com)