Fog off, motherfogger!

You know, I can accept that humans need a purpose. They need a movement to identify with, a cause to support. Some people seem to need it more than others and some people just can't live without having some greater purpose to serve. They move from one cause to another, with the prerogatve to stir pointless shit up being their pathetic chosen role in society. Tonight I realized that people like that piss me off. I can understand that people were born as the only species able to change their surrounding environment, but protesters and activists really just take that freedom a little too far in my eyes.
 
Yeah, some things are worth protesting for. I mean there's actually good causes to stand up against like strip mining, deforestation, human rights, dumping oil into the oceans... the list goes on. But seriously, mosquito fogging?
 
That's right. Last night, the intense malathion debate reached a glorious crescendo of mediocrity when a Winnipeg woman was actually arrested for disturbing the peace during an anti-malathion protest. Seriously, she spent the night in jail after being charged with mischief, causing a disturbance, resisting arrest, and being a giant ass-head.
 
Malathion, for those not in the know, is the chemical that the City of Winnipeg uses to spray for mosquitoes in order to keep the blood-sucking population to a minimum. Now, malathion is certainly a form of nerve gas and this seems to be the sticking point with lunatics like Mrs. Head. I've heard all sorts of talk about how malathion is what police and armies use to "fog out" their targets, but that just isn't true. Malathion is very, very safe unless you take in a crazy huge amount of the stuff. Health Canada deems it safe for a child to play in a playground next to a Winnipeg fogging truck, so I imagine that we can handle a little bit drifting through the air and taking out our provincial bird. The lady last night was just audacious, wearing a gas mask and screaming "[malathion's] ancestors were tested in Auschwitz!" Did I miss something? Are we fogging for Jews now? The nerve!
 
So I deem the stuff safe. OK, so maybe if you hooked yourself up to the fogger and pumped your lungs full of it, you'd have problems. Lots of gases that way though. Look at chocolate - if you breathed excess amount of chocolate vapour, you'd be pretty damn sick. I think we should all go stand outside Willy Wonka's and protest the production of chocolate mist, don't you?
 
On a completely unrelated note, did anyone notice that there aren't any mosquitoes around? Also, I don't have West Nile. Like I said, this has nothing to do with anything. I'm just saying, you know.
 
qotp: "Dost thou not suspect my place? Dost thou not suspect my years? O that he were here to write me down an ass! But masters, remember that I am an ass. Though it be not written down, yet forget not that I am an ass. No, thou villain, thou art full of piety, as shall be proved upon thee by good witness. I am a wise fellow, and which is more, an officer, and which is more, a householder, and which is more, as pretty a piece of flesh as any is in Messina, and one that knows the law, go to; and a rich fellow enough, go to; and a fellow that hath had losses, and one that hath two gowns and every thing handsome about him. Bring him away. O that I had been writ down an ass!"
- William Shakespeare, from Much Ado About Nothing
 
- Colin (invincibleironman@hotmail.com)