Well, that was certainly an up-and-down-and-back-up-again kind of day. I'm still not sure what to make of today, but I'm kind of glad it's over. May tomorrow be a brighter, less confusing mess of insanity. Or it could be worse, which wouldn't be altogether unexpected.

My day started off well with me getting a ride to work, finding new shirts to wear in the store and getting to work with a good friend for a chunk of the day. Better news came when I got a call from the boss, informing me that I had just received a great promotion and an opportunity to make a small difference before I end my tenure. Great, right? I mean, how could this possibly be a bad thing?

I'm not sure, actually - but my koopa sense is tingling. Somehow I think I'll turn out to be a bad guy on this one, no matter what I do. C'est la vie, I guess. If there needs to be a villain, I can just as well fill that role.

Apparently, I am a lot more malicious in my actions than even I knew. Apparently, I use people. Apparently, I may or may not have an ego problem. Apparently, some people are confused. So am I.

You know, I'm reaching a point in my life where I'm about ready to stop worrying about what people think of me. I've never stepped on anyone in my life to get to where I am. I've even stepped back from possible advancements in my life to protect those that I care about. Look how well I've made out thus far. Something has definitely got to change.

There's this great debate that rages inside of me. Am I a corporate machine, just waiting to be molded by the kind of company that needs a piece of clay? Or am I the "nice guy", willing to suffer the slings and arrows that come about when you try to please everyone? Today, the thought of simple conformity seems so inviting; it just seems so delectably easy. Tomorrow, I'm sure the thought of making people happy will cross my mind and somehow seem like a good plan of action.

Frankly, this all makes my head hurt.

In closing, you may perceive me as you wish. If you need a friend and wish me to be so, I have ample qualifications. However, I can be many other things too. The sky's the limit, my friend!

Ciao.

- Colin (invincibleironman@hotmail.com)