After another full week away, I have returned to address the masses. Well alright, there is nothing massive about this blog's following but those who are following are important people indeed.

Before I rant about my topic of choice, I'd like to offer high-fives to a few fellow bloggers for a week of excellent reading. The first goes to Lina for putting a piece of herself out there for the world to see. The second is to Heidi for a series of truly entertaining posts from the Land of Chocolate. The third goes to the always excellent Bryan for his fierce political chutzpah over the last few weeks. That's dangerous thinking dude, you might accidentally get something changed. Also, B has a new format that looks positively dashing.

And now for something completely different...

Apparently Microsoft is going back to court. Again. This time, they get to visit the Nebraska Supreme Court and defend themselves against a lawsuit that alleges that the IT giant used its amazing powers of monopolization to overcharge customers for Windows. My reaction is frankly: WTF?!

Does this make sense to anyone else out there? Why on Earth are the Americans always making themselves look like dumbasses? I just don't get it. Off the top of my head, I'd like to talk about a few of the reasons why this is just totally absurd.

Firstly, where does this Monopoly business come from? The last time I checked, Microsoft doesn't have a monopoly on anything. There are competitors out there, and most are quite readily available. You can pick up any flavour of Linux for your PC for absolutely no charge and use their freeoffice suite. Also, there are Windows emulators that run on top of Linux and Unix that allow users to run Windows programs. Did I mention that it's all free? If you're into paying for stuff, there's always the Mac option which is not such a bad option for certain uses. It's not really office material, but it's a fine choice for anyone that is pursuing graphic design and related fields. So if the consumer has a clear choice of which product to invest in, how exactly does Microsoft have a monopoly?

Secondly, even if M$ did have a monopoly (see above) it would clearly be the doing of the people. That's right, I said M$ (read em-cha-ching). If Joe Q. Nerd is concerned with the big, bad company having too much market share he shouldn't have bought those copies of Windows, Office, and Age of Empires II. Oh wait, he wanted to use quality software that he knew would provide him with what he needed. So Mr. Nerd went out and bought the software he desired from Microsoft then turned around, punched Bill Gates in the stomach, and bit the hand that fed him.

I, for one think the M$ nickname pinpoints exactly what the problem is here. Microsoft is a massive, progressive, and incredibly profitable company. In fact, Microsoft might just be too profitable for the collective American comfort zone. Yes, I think Microsoft has hit the point in the public eye that causes American hypocrisy to rear his ugly head. That is to say that the one nation that relies on capitalism the most is afraid that their own system might somehow enslave them to Bill Gates.

Microsoft must have enough money to buy out every IT company in America save for IBM. Actually, they probably have enough money to outright purchase the souls of every American citizen and still have enough for Mr. Gates to grab a bite at Subway. However, they haven't gone out and done either of those things yet. My guess is that they probably won't ever do either although the latter would be pretty entertaining to observe.

So why the hubbub? It's because they could if they wanted to. It's because they are the ultimate capitalists. More than anything though, it's because it's public knowledge. Wal-Mart is a hojillion times more profitable than Microsoft, but nobody is clamoring for their heads on a pole. I mean, Wal-Mart's fortune is public knowledge as well, but America is obviously either ignorant to that information or too focused on bringing down the pinnacle of everything they stand for.

I say screw the whales, let's save Microsoft.

- Colin (invincibleironman@hotmail.com)