Has this really gone since last Thursday without a new update? I'm a terrible blogger, I know. However, in an effort to make myself look better I will direct you to my sister's blog. Now that's slack blogging!

It's been brought to my attention that my recent posts have been rather dry reading material. Apparently, certain parties actually thought I was remotely entertaining. I must rectify the situation promptly so as not to disappoint my loyal fan-base. My apologies, dear reader. I should not have given you false hope in the first place. From here on out only consistently boring posts will be entered, hereby creating a wondrous plateau of mediocrity.

I drove downtown in the snow at 8:30 on a Monday night, just to check out the late night record shop. It has never been so clear to me that music can date an individual just as well as any carbon-dating techniques you CSI junkies might be accustomed to seeing. I walked out carrying no less than three pieces of music that serve to declare my approximate time of graduation from high school. I present to you:

Exhibit A: The Philosopher Kings - Famous, Rich, and Beautiful.
Does anyone even remember these guys? The Kings are famous moreso for the side projects they've spawned than the work they've done together. Prozzak and Jarvis Church both stem from this talented group who have been lost somewhere in 1998.

Exhibit B: Garbage - Version 2.0.
Shirley Manson was actually voted as sexiest female in a large magazine publication around 1997 or 98. That struck me as odd back then and it strikes me as even odder in 2004.

Exhibit C: Underworld - 1992-2002.
This one's slightly obscure unless you're familiar with the electronica revolution of the mid-to-late 90's. Among all the acts (Leftfield, Future Sound of London, The Prodigy, ect.) that tried to strike it big in North America with this new wave tunage, Underworld is one of the only groups to have emerged successful. They hold a special place in my heart for their places on the soundtracks to Hackersand Trainspotting. Oh, and Cowgirl kicks ass.

These three exhibits, coupled with my constant requesting of Discotheque (BOOM-CHA!) at every social function I attend seem to point to one thing: I am a pretty cool guy. It's the only logical conclusion to be drawn, really. Indeed, I am a straight shooter with a master plan.

You didn't actually think I was going to say that I'm getting old, did you?

Today's posting is brought to you by Sammy the Seal. For $29.99, that's quite a deal. I'd even go so far as to say that was a steal for Sammy, Sammy the Seal.

Don't ask, just smile and nod. Yes, that's it. Good reader.

- Colin (invincibleironman@hotmail.com)

There has been quite the hubbub about hockey here in Winnipeg over the last few weeks. Apparently, the City of Winnipeg had issued a letter to Pittsburgh Penguins owner Mario Lemieux, asking him to consider relocating the struggling franchise back here in The Peg, to the delight of an entire city. Well, almost an entire city. Days later, Super Mario declined that offer and all hope seemed lost. However, there appears to be another team that is looking to move back to Winnipeg... just who it is remains a mystery for now.

Hockey in post-Jets Winnipeg has been sorry at best. I've been to see our resident Moose twice since they showed up, and I've been unimpressed to say the least. The AHL just can't hold a candle to the NHL, even though some of us pretend that it does. Once you've tasted the big leagues there's no way you can go back, I say. Most of us would rather sit at home and cheer for the Canucks or Leafs than go to see a farm team play.

Winnipeg definitely is a hockey city. We love hockey. Take a look outside and you'll see why. It's like a giant zamboni cleaned off a glacier-sized Rink of the Gods and dropped the shavings all over town. We've certainly got more fans here than Pittsburgh, Nashville, or Carolina to name a few. We've got our new MTS Centre under construction, so we'll have a brand new arena to house them. So why shouldn't we get a team?

Well, I have to ask whether or not we can actually support this team. If the uber-rich city of Ottawa can't afford their team, how are we supposed to? The Jets had one of the lowest payrolls in the NHL with the third highest season ticket sales in their final season with us. If a salary cap comes in to play, then perhaps we can talk. But with the NHL in its current form, I don't see it happening.

If we get a team back, they better not be called the Jets. They certainly won't be the Jets, no matter how hard we wish them to be. This city is horrible for taking things for granted - that's how we lost our team in the first place. I fear that in calling them the Jets, we'll be giving ourselves the illusion of having lost nothing in the first place.

I'm not sure how I stand on this. I don't like the NHL anymore, as my passion for the league went south with the team. I'd like to get back in touch with my inner hockey fan, but I'm not sure how receptive he's going to be. For all the fans in this city - and believe me there's a lot of them, I hope this happens. And for all the players potentially coming here, I hope we don't screw the pooch again.

- Colin (invincibleironman@hotmail.com)

This post powered by: The Dancing Gabe

Alright, so it's been awhile. You can chalk the lack of posting up to me being horrendously ill over the last few days. I've barely had the zest to crawl my way out of bed, let alone sit here at the computer and write seemingly useless jargon. I realize though, that I have an adoring public (!?) and that they indeed do need to hear from me. Besides, I'd be a terrible blogger if I let this slip for more than a week.

Today's topic deals with a story of English football. More specifically, it deals with Leeds United - a club on the brink.

If it were two and a half years ago you might have thought me crazy to even mention this. Leeds were stepping into a golden age as they became UEFA Champions League semi-finalists. Fat television contracts meant fatter contracts for their players and spurred the young team to play with more gusto and grit than any other Premiership side.

It seems odd then that Leeds managed to find themselves 80 million pounds indebted two years later. That's when all the bad stuff started to happen. The players began to bicker back and forth between each other, causing a slump in performance and a terrible 2002 season. It didn't help that they changed managers at least three times.

It also didn't help that they offloaded all but three of their shining stars in order to lower their debt. Defensive cornerstone Rio Ferdinand was sold to Manchester United for a record 30 million pounds, but that money somehow got squandered away. Striker supreme Robbie Keane was sold to Tottenham Hotspur and continues to make Leeds eat their mistake. Keane's scored in each match that Leeds have played against Tottenham, with Spurs victorious each time. Robbie Fowler, another striker, was sold to Manchester City to ease debts. As if their defenses weren't weak enough without Ferdinand, they up and sold Jonathan Woodgate to Newcastle. Lee Bowyer was sold to West Ham last season, who in turn were forced to sell him to Newcastle as well, due to their relegation. Those are the most notable but there are more.

Despite their efforts, Leeds United has a week to climb itself out of debt. If the board of directors cannot relieve the debt within that time, Leeds United will go into administration. At least they'll go down in history as the first club in the Premiership to go out.

For those of you who are unaware of what administration is in terms of sports, it basically means club suicide. Businessmen come and do whatever they can to relieve your debt. Think of them as sports repo-men. Any notable players will probably end up being sold on an auction block. If that's not enough, the good Lord only knows what they could sell next.

It looks like Mark Viduka, Alan Smith, and Paul Robinson will be the first to go. I imagine Viduka will end up at a lesser club that is desperate to score goals. Hopefully, Smith will end up at a club that can tame his fiery temper and bring out the obvious talent in him. He would do wonders learning from Alan Shearer at Newcastle, but I could see Liverpool or Fulham making a swoop for him as well. Robinson's up in the air but many clubs would love to land an England international keeper. I heard that Manchester City were the likely suitors, but I'm not sure how likely that is now that they've signed England's Number One - David James.

I'm really not sure how this is all going to end, but it's not looking good for Leeds. If they don't make it it's been a good run. If they end up in a lower division I'm sure we'll see them in a few years!

- Colin (invincibleironman@hotmail.com)

Well, that was certainly an up-and-down-and-back-up-again kind of day. I'm still not sure what to make of today, but I'm kind of glad it's over. May tomorrow be a brighter, less confusing mess of insanity. Or it could be worse, which wouldn't be altogether unexpected.

My day started off well with me getting a ride to work, finding new shirts to wear in the store and getting to work with a good friend for a chunk of the day. Better news came when I got a call from the boss, informing me that I had just received a great promotion and an opportunity to make a small difference before I end my tenure. Great, right? I mean, how could this possibly be a bad thing?

I'm not sure, actually - but my koopa sense is tingling. Somehow I think I'll turn out to be a bad guy on this one, no matter what I do. C'est la vie, I guess. If there needs to be a villain, I can just as well fill that role.

Apparently, I am a lot more malicious in my actions than even I knew. Apparently, I use people. Apparently, I may or may not have an ego problem. Apparently, some people are confused. So am I.

You know, I'm reaching a point in my life where I'm about ready to stop worrying about what people think of me. I've never stepped on anyone in my life to get to where I am. I've even stepped back from possible advancements in my life to protect those that I care about. Look how well I've made out thus far. Something has definitely got to change.

There's this great debate that rages inside of me. Am I a corporate machine, just waiting to be molded by the kind of company that needs a piece of clay? Or am I the "nice guy", willing to suffer the slings and arrows that come about when you try to please everyone? Today, the thought of simple conformity seems so inviting; it just seems so delectably easy. Tomorrow, I'm sure the thought of making people happy will cross my mind and somehow seem like a good plan of action.

Frankly, this all makes my head hurt.

In closing, you may perceive me as you wish. If you need a friend and wish me to be so, I have ample qualifications. However, I can be many other things too. The sky's the limit, my friend!

Ciao.

- Colin (invincibleironman@hotmail.com)

I had an interesting debate with Lina last night that dealt with the natural diet of the modern man. Even though we're both obviously meat eaters, she has occasionally expressed interest in a vegetarian diet. I am on the other side of things, with no such desire in my mind.

Her argument was an interesting one, and forced me to think a little about exactly what we are as a species. She maintains that a vegetarian diet would be a healthier one for a human to pursue, given the proper supplements in proteins and other nutrients that we generally get from meats. That could be true, depending on what the majority of the vegetarian's diet is made from. For example, protein supplements are often made from soy. Vegetarians also tend to consume more soy products such as tofu to deal with the lack of protein in their diet. Studies have shown that excessive amounts of soy protein can be a cause of cancer and can cause impotence in males.

If we want to be healthier as a whole, we should probably consider cutting out starches, carbohydrates, and excessive sugars from our diets. These things are the leading causes of obesity in North Americans, partially because we weren't intended to consume such things in the first place. Our bodies just don't deal well with them.

This brings me to my main thought on the matter. I am an omnivore. I fully realize and embrace this. I have four sharp teeth that are primarily used to rip apart meat. I do not have any quams about eating an animal; this is what nature has intended me to do. You don't see a bear protesting outside a rabbit's hole, carrying signs that read "Save the Animals" or any other ridiculous nonsense that animal activists would have us read. They and every other creature on this planet know what their role in our food chain is. Leave it to humans to get one of the most basic of natural instincts confused.

That's it for me today. I hope you enjoyed my rant on human nutrition. I leave you with this:

"My body is a pyramid that's made of healthy food
So do what we say
Eat right everyday
I love you" - Marilyn Manson, from The Food Pyramid

- Colin (invincibleironman@hotmail.com)

So I'm coming home today from Bryan's send-off at Triple B's when I notice a peculiar phenomenon. Never before have I had to dodge as many snow removal crews as I have in the last two days. I've been driving for six years now, and I've not had to experience the weaving, starting, and stopping that comes with avoiding those behemoth machines in such frequency. Very disturbing.

For fans of English soccer (or more appropriately football), this is an exciting time of the year. Most teams have now played exactly half of their 38 game schedule or are within one game of doing so. Every year there are some surprises and this season is no exception. There are also predictable things that seem shocking at first, but were entirely predictable.

Same As Always
Of course, no English Premier season would be complete without the obligatory three horse race for first place. This year's race has two old favorites and a relative newcomer this kind of situation. As always, Manchester United and my boys Arsenal are fighting it out but are followed close behind by moneybags Chelsea. Arsenal haven't lost yet but play to a draw more often than they probably should. United is a bit surprising this year, with the Red Devils having offloaded two important players in David Beckham and Juan Sebastian Veron. Chelsea have slumped in form, having lost 4-2 to Charlton Athletic a few weeks back then suffering an embarrasing draw with Division One's Watford.

Big Surprises
As of right now, Charlton Athletic are in the fourth spot. And who do we thank for this? I'm not sure, actually. Charlton have two players that most fans know: Paulo Di Canio and Jason Euell. Neither of them have scored much, and I'm not sure how they keep on winning. Go figure.

Fulham are holding strong in fifth place. Keep in mind that Fulham was just promoted a few years back and haven't really signed a large number of high-profile players.

What the crap is Aston Villa doing in sixth? Last season, Villa was two spots shy of relegation. Now they're in a UEFA cup spot. The funny thing is, they lose whenever I watch them play.

Why is Newcastle so far down the table? I can't figure this one out either. Newcastle finished third last year, and truly outclassed everyone underneath them. I thought that was the beginning of a Newcastle revolution. Perhaps I was wrong.

Looking further down the list, I can see that Manchester City, Blackburn Rovers, and Tottenham Hotspur are faring quite badly. Tottenham in particular is struggling in the relegation zone - something the usually strong side is unacustomed to. The problem here is that they have two players that can score: Robbie Keane and Freddi Kanoute. Kanoute's not playing much as of late, so Keane-o is shouldering much of the burden. Oh well. If they go down, perhaps a good side (like Arsenal) will scoop Keane up and use his vast talents for something other than losing.

I Told You So
Did I call this one or what? Leeds United is sitting right there second to last in the table. Last season, some predicted Leeds to actually win the championship. I didn't, though. Leeds just happens to have sold each and every player that ever made them a good side, while keeping the ones that probably held them back from greatness. Mark Viduka seems to be spending more time with the media than on the pitch lately, while Alan Smith can't play a game without getting suspended for two. Gone are the Ferdinands, the Bowyers, and the Kewells. You'd think that after selling huge names like those they could buy some good talent. Apparently this is not the case. I'm sure we haven't heard the last of them providing they can actually win some games in Division One and get back into the Premiership for 2005.

Everton seems to have lost the fire that made them so unpredictable last season. Although I commend David Moyes for trying to ease Wayne Rooney into the game, they need him to come into his own. This kid could be the next Michael Owen, but he's not quite there yet. They pin an awful lot of pressure on Rooney, putting him into tough matches when they need an equalizer or winner. The fans already hail him as their on-the-pitch saviour, but perhaps they should put greater weight on the experienced players they already have.

When It's All Said And Done

This is how I see things ending up this season:

1. Arsenal
2. Manchester United
3. Chelsea
4. Liverpool
5. Fulham
6. Newcastle United
7. Charlton Athletic
8. Southampton
9. Manchester City
10. Aston Villa
11. Everton
12. Bolton Wanderers
13. Birmingham
14. Tottenham Hotspur
15. Middlesbrough
16. Blackburn Rovers
17. Leicester
18. Portsmouth
19. Leeds United
20. Wolverhampton

Well, that's my personal opinion on the whole mess. Feel free to let me know if you think I'm wrong or yell at me if you don't appreciate all the sports talk.

It's been emotional.

- Colin (invincibleironman@hotmail.com)

Yes, I know I've been a bad blogger. Remember what I said though... only semi-regular posts shall find their way on here. I felt inclined to put up one tonight, seeing as how it's very something outside. It's not cold, it's something else. Perhaps the Inuit have a word to describe how frighteningly frigid it is outside. Seriously. I'm pretty sure I saw the Abominable Snowman at Tim Horton's, wrapped in a blanket and sipping a huge coffee.

At any rate, belated happy New Year to you all! I hope 2004 is better than 2003 for everyone. I certainly hope that it turns out better for me. This year, I intend to follow through on no less than four (4) of the following resolutions:

1) Get a real job, paying no less than $30K a year
2) Buy a car, preferably something I don't hate driving
3) Make a very large relationship step
4) Try to enjoy the transition into the "next phase"
5) Put my gym pass to use
6) Win a very large sum of money

But enough of that! Welcome back for my year-end wrap up! On today's agenda, I'm recapping my favorite albums of 2003. Of course this is all opinion-based, so this list is going to look very strange to some of you. So without further adieu...

1. Radiohead - Hail to the Thief
Art rock enthusiasts often tout Radiohead as the best band in the world. I'm not sure if I can readily hand over that label just yet, but with each album their credentials grow. Thief was supposed to mark Radiohead's return to rock, a sort of revisiting of The Bends. Imagine my surprise when I heard the album for the first time, only to be treated to more songs akin to their last two outings than the stuff that made them a household name in the mid 90's. What is remarkable about this record is its ability to tell a story and evoke emotion in its listener, even though its lyrics are typically obscure and ambiguous. This is heads and tails my pick for best album of the year.

2. Matthew Good - Avalanche
Canadians know Matt Good's attitude well - he seemingly hates everyone. It was no surprise to me then, when I heard that the Matthew Good Band had broken up. I was saddened to think that Good would fall from the music scene altogether, due to the impossibility of anyone working alongside him for very long. I was also afraid that Avalanche, his announced solo effort, would be shameless in its self-promotion and detrimentally cocky. However, Matt Good proved me wrong. What we got on Avalanche is a much more mature narrative, mixed intelligently with Good's trademark vocals. Gone are the days of Matthew Good's angst-ridden private-school-prep-rock. This is the anti-Nickelback for us Canadians - a meaningful, intelligent, lovingly-crafted album with a musical triumph in each track.

3. I Mother Earth - The Quicksilver Meat Dream
I Mother Earth lives! Well, sort of at least. This could be the last album for awhile, depending on how the record label perceives IME's potential to sell records... but what a way to go out! TQMD sounds like a sonic romp through the mind of a very complicated individual, and what a glorious noise it produces. This stuff is art-rock, plain and simple - with the exception of the radio-friendly Like the Sun. The rest of the album can be likened to prog-rock for the masses. There enough varying guitar licks, tempo changes, and riveting vocals here to make Axl Rose's head explode. When you're done taking in the sounds, there are a host of bizarre lyrics to contemplate over and over. This record can keep you busy for months.

4. Blur - Think Tank
This might be an unpopular choice, indeed. There are two ways to approach this record, and both with different outcomes. The first would be to expect to hear "WOOHOO!" over and over again until your brains leak from your ears from the commercialized pop-punk ambiguity. If you come in like that, you'll be disappointed to no end. The proper way to come into Think Tank would be to expect something akin to Blur's 13 record. The nice thing about this is that it sounds like vintage Blur in all their artsy-brit-pop glory. There are a number of times that they sound vaguely Beatles-esque, but that works in their favour. There is no standout track on this record, but I must rate it so highly due to its ability to hold together so well and create a full album experience. This a great offering by a band who continually strives to please its fans.

5. The Dandy Warhols - Welcome to the Monkey House
Portland's Dandy Warhols hadn't put out a record since 2000's Thirteen Tales of Urban Bohemia, a fact that ripped at the hearts of Warhols fans worldwide. Though a relatively small group, the Dandys have a very loyal fanbase who were undoubtedly whipped into a rabid frenzy with each delay of Monkey House. The wait was worth it though... 2003's offering is a very solid album. The Dandys keep their trademark retro-pop sound alive in this one, but they opt for a more 80's synthpop sound this time around. That's alright though, this stuff is as catchy as anything I've heard before from these masters of catchy tunes. Though not as strong on a whole as Thirteen Tales, you'd be hard-pressed to find better cynical pseudo-pop.

6. Caesars - 39 Minutes of Bliss (In an Otherwise Meaningless World)
Wow, who would have thought that retro garage rock would come back? A slew of bands are bringing back that vintage 60's surfer/bandstand sound, and Caesars are indeed on that wagon. Immediately, you'll notice the use of that trademark 1960's organ. However, these Swedes are earning praise around the globe for doing it really damn well. Again, this stuff is as catchy as any music from that era. I dare you to not walk around singing Jerk it Out for a few days after your first listen. Indeed, this is 39 minutes of bliss.

7. Idlewild - The Remote Part
I've been tracking Idlewild's progress as a band over this last year and grow continually impressed with their evolution thus far. They started as a harsh, brash Scottish punk group that screamed more often than not. However, The Remote Part picks up where 100 Broken Windows left off and takes it to the next level. What we have here is the kind of band that REM could have been, had Michael Stipe been a little more angry at the world. Roddy Woomble has traded in his screaming pipes in favour of a more melodic, sincere sound which he pulls off extremely well. A few records ago this band wouldn't have departed from its guitar-heavy punk, now we get to close the record with a string arrangement and a half-track of spoken word. This is good, sincere alternative rock for anyone searching for a little feeling in their music.

8. Gary Hughes - The Once and Future King I & II
OK, I admit it - I am a sucker for rock opera and for medieval mythology. That's just what Gary Hughes brings us in this two-disc set: a rock opera based on the Arthurian Legend. It rings of delightfully old-school guitar movements and riveting hair-metalish vocals. The lyrics are lovingly crafted and tell one of the most intriguing and loved tales in history. I understand that this set was three or four years in the making. The quality shines through not only in each song, but as a whole performance as well. This is definitely something to check out if you have a fondness for musicals, vintage metal, or a combination of the two.

9. Finger Eleven - Finger Eleven
Finger Eleven vanished for a long while after their last album, The Greyest of Blue Skies. I thought they had gone for good until I was able to see them live about a year ago and to my surprise heard a new song. One of my favorite Canadian bands are back now, with a mature sound unheard of within their genre of music. Apparently this is getting them some recognition in the US, which they sincerely deserved for their hard work both as Finger Eleven and as The Rainbow Buttmonkeys. This is a treat to listen to, especially if you enjoyed the last album more than Tip.

10. Jane's Addiction - Strays
This addition is a really late one for me... I only picked up the album yesterday. It bumps Pilate's Caught By the Window from the list, but deservingly so. Admittedly, I wasn't into Jane's Addiction when they were last on the scene. I wasn't really old enough to care, one way or another. However, I'm glad they've come back and let me experience their apparent resurgence. I really like this album already, and it's sure to get even better after more listening. Just Because is a standout track, but the record brims with driving guitar riffs and the unique vocal stylings that Addicts have been treated to for years. I also like the variety in the tracks, as it would have been easy to write eleven versions of Just Because and sell tons of records. Good stuff, here.

So that's the end of it. There are a few things that I haven't got to listen to yet that I would have liked to. Perhaps the list would be different if my budget were slightly larger, but that's they way it goes. Take care out there!

- Colin (invincibleironman@hotmail.com)