Oddly enough, I've received words of praise for that last post. I thought I'd get negative responses, but a scary turn of events showed that people actually liked my Wrestlemania preview. I seem to be on a roll with this, so bearing that in mind I'll be answering another piece of fan-mail today.

My fan writes:

> Hey King Koop,
>
> How's it hanging? Wow, that was soooo cool that you answered MY e-mail in your blog... lol!!!
> That was totally awesome. You're totally awesome!! Seeing how you are so awesome, do you
> have a sidekick? If so, what does your sidekick do?
>
> Sincerely,
>
> Burtonium

Hey right back to you Burtonium. You're going to spoil me with all of these e-mails!

Though I must agree with your declaration of my awesomeness, I currently do not employ a sidekick. However, this was not always the case. I once had a sidekick whom I mentored and trained for many years. His name was Shuckie and I loved him dearly from the moment I took him under my wing.

You see, everything was fine for a time. I showed young Shuckie the ropes, teaching him the ways of the hero on the mean streets of Winnipeg. Yes, those were glorious days! All good things must come to an end though, and Shuckie's tenure with me would prove no different.

As with any great hero, I too have weaknesses. My righteous aura of awesomeness is both a blessing and a curse. Though it imbues me with powers that transcend even my own imagination, it affected young Shuckie in the worst way possible. Longing to be on the same level as his mentor, Shuckie set out to stamp his imprint on the world.

Unfortunately, he had just been watching some cartoon that had something to do with pizza, samurai, and felines. In it, he witnessed amazing feats of dare as these animated heroes fired themselves from a large cannon in order to facilitate travel to crime scenes. Always the impressionable youth, Shuckie immediately began construction of his own version of this hero-launching technology.

Finally came the day when Shuckie had completed his transport system and set off on his own to reach the next level in his quest to gain the approval of his mentor. I vividly remember the look of utter joy in his eye as Shuckie loaded himself into the cannon when he received his first distress signal. I can still hear the cute but shrill voice of his secretary announcing his departure to the populace of downtown Winnipeg. She exclaimed:

"Hey there villains, bright and plucky. Invert those grins 'cause here comes Shuckie!"

The large boom of the cannon signified Shuckie's arrival on the scene as a hero for the new age. However, Shuckie could not be seen hurtling through the skies toward a needy citizen. Instead, a dark blue cloud of smoke billowed from the cannon's mouth, coating nearby office buildings with a light coat of blue dust. Poor, unfortunate Shuckie now circulates through the ventilation systems of many downtown Winnipeg offices as a reminder to those who try to use his cannon ever again.

It seems that I too had to learn that with great power comes great responsibility. I now try to suppress my aura, so as to prevent a terrible tragedy from ever occurring again. As a tribute to our dearly departed Shuckie, I have not taken on a sidekick and am doing most of my adventuring on a solo basis.

For now I am reluctant to take on another sidekick. Of course, I would reconsider if the ideal candidate were to come along. He'd have to be invulnerable though, just in case he tries to blow himself up as well. Also, he should probably not be as easily influenced as stupi... I mean Shuckie.

Again, thanks for writing Burtonium! I hope this offers a bit of backstory and clears up some of the continuity problems that my writers have been having over the past few issues.

- Colin (invincibleironman@hotmail.com)