Alright, it's time for a post since it's been over a week now since the last one. Somehow, I ran out of interesting thoughts last week and couldn't conjure up a decent topic. Of course, I'm not claiming that today's is wonderful either. Some of you will enjoy this, and others will probably think it's the most shallow and geeky thing you've ever heard.

There, I've warned you. Read on if you want to hear how geeky I can get.

For years now, fans of Marvel comics have been crying into their milk because the Avengers (the main superteam in the Marvel Universe) are vastly underpowered in comparison to the Justice League of America (their DC counterpart). There have been many discussions on how the Avengers could possibly scrape out a win over the JLA, but every one of them ends in the JLA beating the tar out of the Marvel guys.

I've been playing a little game lately called City of Heroes and ran into a neat poll on the forums. They proposed that the Marvel team upped the stakes by splicing two teams together to make a Marvel elite superteam, much like the JLA is already. We'll be joining the Avengers with the Defenders for this discussion and keeping to seven members a piece. For the record, these teams have joined forces before so this isn't just coming out of the blue.

So the rosters are...

JLA - Superman, Batman, Green Lantern, The Flash, Wonder Woman, Martian Manhunter, and Aquaman
Team Marvel - Thor, Iron Man, Captain America, Silver Surfer, The Hulk, Dr. Strange, and Namor

The best way to go about this is with seven good matchups and see who comes out on top...

Match 1: Superman vs. Thor
Though they are probably matched equally in strength, Supes has a tendency to "cut loose" and deal out ass-kickings of magnificent proportions. Thor is a bit more conservative but he has an ace up his sleeve. There are only two things in the universe that can hurt Superman - kryptonite and magic. It just so happens that Thor is wields a big-ass magical hammer. A half dozen good whacks with Mjolnir would do the trick and leave the God of Thunder standing... but barely.
Team Marvel 1, JLA 0.

Match 2: Batman vs. Captain America
In a encounter of scrapping tacticians, both are pretty evenly matched in physical skill. Cap can probably outlast Batman but the Dark Knight is so damn smart. In a tough call, I pick Batman.
Team Marvel 1, JLA 1.

Match 3: Iron Man vs. Martian Manhunter
This is probably the toughest match to call because I'm trying to stay neutral in my opinions. Iron Man has speed, strength, flight, and energy blasts, but Martian Manhunter has some weird powers like the ability to become intangible and heat vision. In the end, I can't choose a winner and think they'd probably fight until the cows came home anyway. No points awarded here.
Team Marvel 1, JLA 1.

Match 4: Silver Surfer vs. Green Lantern
Indeed the Lantern wields one of the most powerful things in the DC Universe - his ring. However, the Silver Surfer is one of the most powerful things in the Marvel Universe and can pretty much do whatever he wants. When it comes down to it, the Surfer would have two choices: blast the hell out of everything the Lantern creates with the ring or rearrange the atoms in the Lantern's body to make him resemble a claw shrimp. Either way, the Surfer has it wrapped up.
Team Marvel 2, JLA 1.

Match 5: The Hulk vs. Wonder Woman
Erm, is this fair? Hulk smash puny woman. Oh wait, she's got an invisible jet plane and a lasso from the Gods. Let me rethink this... Hulk smash puny plane and use lasso as dental floss.
Team Marvel 3, JLA 1.

Match 6: Dr. Strange vs. The Flash
Back in the silver age, this would have been Dr. Strange all the way. Nowadays though, The Flash is crazy powerful and does really weird stuff on a regular basis. Strange could put up a challenge if he was allowed to cast some spells, but The Flash would probably put him out before he gets two syllables into an incantation. And if he didn't have the chance to stop him, Flash would probably just run backward through time or some shit and try all over again.
Team Marvel 3, JLA 2.

Match 7: Namor vs. Aquaman
So the whole things boils down to this obvious matchup. In one corner we have the oldest Marvel hero in Namor, King of Atlantis. In the other we have Aquaman, who talks to fish and has a harpoon on his hand. Aquaman would need to enlist the help of every shark on Earth to stop Namor from beating his ass all over the ocean and even then it would only delay the inevitable for five minutes. I would say that Namor could keep the harpoon as a trophy but he probably has a bunch of those anyway... since he lives in the ocean and all.
Team Marvel 4, JLA 2.

So there we have it! Finally, a respectable showing from Marvel to walk out 4-2 victors. The great thing is, you can't even add members to DC's list to make them more dangerous. Not Hawkman, not Red Tornado, and not even Robin could stop this train. Holy awesome.

I'll have a less shallow post up in a few days for those of you who are utterly terrified by today's discussion. Until then, strength.

- Colin (invincibleironman@hotmail.com)